Ultimate rip-off is ultimate
fun for MAROONS
by Chuck Molgat

About a year ago. Kelly Fairchild was effectively through with rock. Burnt out from a less-than-spectacular exile in Toronto and bummed out by a frustrating band scenario here at home, the '27-year-old musician faced an ominous dilemma that would alter the course of his life for at least the next year or so.

"It was either throw the guitar in the fireplace or form a Ramones tribute band." explains Fairchild, front man of Winnipeg, band THE MAROONS. and a 50' yard dead ringer for Joey Ramone. "That's how this all came about."

The rest, you might say. is animated history.

Along with guitarist and longtime comrade Shaune Kemkaran, drummer Brian Aitken and bass player Justin Seguin, THE MAROONS are "The Ultimate Ramones Rip-Off" - a living, breathing, cover-playing tribute to Johnny, Joey. Dee Dee and Marky of seminal New York punk fame. The band has been treating local club patrons to lessons in three-chord economics for the better part of a year now and as far as Fairchild knows, they are the only Ramones tribute band currently at large anywhere.

"There's a gazillion tribute bands out there, most of them being Kiss tribute bands, but nobody else is doing a Ramones tribute band anywhere," says Fairchild, with the conviction of a man who's made a lot of phone calls. "It's a total blast. The songs are so short and fun, simple yet brilliant... it's just great stuff to play."

All involved agree that fun is the ultimate integer in THE MAROONS equation, however, there's a greater degree of innovation afoot in THE MAROONS ranks than you're likely to find in your garden-variety party band. Sure, it's a lark - but these guys are serious too. "We're doing Ramones stuff, but we're kind of doing it our own way in a sense," says Fairchild. "Everything is very true to The Ramones, but if we're doing anything a little different, I think it's for the better." For better or for worse, THE MAROONS have married elements of The Ramones' studio material with those of The Ramones' live shows - ones typified by a non-stop barrage of tunes generally played at twice the records' speed. In doing so, The Maroons have slowed things down a little and even incorporated keyboards (played by sometimes MAROON Jim Harrison) into their show, something The Ramones were never wont to do outside the studio. And that's not where THE MAROONS' innovation ends.

"We're making it original in our own right by doing some acoustic songs," says Fairchild, citing "Needles And Pins" and "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" as a couple of Ramones songs now getting THE MAROONS less-plugged treatment.
"For those I'm actually going to pick up the guitar and play, which Joey Ramone doesn't do, but hey...what the hell." If any punk purists out there think THE MAROONS are offering any indignities to their leather- and-denim heroes, they haven't said as much. Instead, Fairchild says the band's been greeted with nothing but enthusiasm thus far.

"Response has been great," he says. "The die hards that come out to shows in really faded, washed-out Ramones T-shirts just love it. All the feedback has been really positive, so I don't think we've done any injustices so far." THE MAROONS will attempt something else The Ramones probably never did next weekend when they host the first-ever Maroons' Rockin' Roller Skate at Saints Roller Rink in the city's south end. Though admittedly a little nervous about the unprecedented nature of the unorthodox show, Fairchild says he's sure the all-ages event (complete with roller-skates, mirror ball and all) will be a blast. "It's just something really silly and campy we wanted to do," he says. "And the advantage of being THE MAROONS is that we can do something like this and get away with it." Seeing as hosting a live band isn't all in a day's work at Saints, THE MAROONS will have to bring in "a truck-load of shit" in order to pull things off with the degree of professionalism they've grown accustomed to. "It's basically an empty room we've got to turn into a bar," says Fairchild. sounding less than excited about the logistics of the gig. "So it's probably not the easiest show to put on. "The original idea was to set up right in the middle of the rink," he continues. "But then we would have to hang up all the cables and wires so that people wouldn't trip on them, so we'll have to see what we come up with."

THE MAROONS' Rockin' Roller Skate is set to roll Friday, April 18 at Saints Roller Rink (171 Hamelin) in Fort Garry. Admission to the all-ages event is $8 (including free roller-skate rental) with doors opening at 8 p.m. sharp. If you can't roller- skate to save your life you can catch the band the following night at the Royal Albert with fellow locals Transonic.